


Let it End and We'll Stand together in the Ashes

by infiniteworld8



Category: Cal Leandros - Rob Thurman
Genre: Book 5-Roadkill, Cal's Auphe side comes out, Cal's struggle to be human, Disturbing Themes, Gen, Half-Human, Missing Scene, Niko's POV, Not a death fic, Protective Siblings, Suicide as a last resort, Ultimate Sacrifice, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteworld8/pseuds/infiniteworld8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Road Kill in which Cal gates after a mule deer and his Auphe side comes out. Niko's POV on the events and what he's willing to do for his brother and himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let it End and We'll Stand together in the Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> First Cal Leandros fic, I love this series...If you love SpN then read it, if not then still read it. Cal Leandros is like SpN but better...yes I said it don't stone me.
> 
> Kudos to R. Thurman....you gave me a gem and I'm a tough customer to shop for. ;)
> 
> P.S if you want another great fic check out the one on ff.net it's a series called malum se and dark Au's of the first three books. The fics are titled Inculabula, Contra Bonos Mores and In Flagrante Delicato all by https://www.fanfiction.net/u/180131/Miranda-Crystal-Bearer....check it out...I don't rec fics very often.

The Ördögs were everywhere at least twenty or more. Quick, deadly and ravenous. They swarmed around us, a tide of monsters waiting and wanting to consume us. Two wolves bounded past me, Delilah and Catcher, A streak of rusty red and a flash of white diving into the sea of black fur. Goodfellow, had pulled out his sword and I wasn’t worried about him because while the puck complained about almost everything he was more than capable of saving himself.

We had faced worse odd and worse opponents, I was confident that these monsters who barely were higher on the intellectual chain tan animals wouldn’t be the defeat of us. I saw a flash to my left and watched as my brother disappeared in a flash of sick grayish light swirling around him, like the universe had been torn apart and was screaming in agony. And he reappeared a few feet later and one of the creatures blew apart, I felt flecks of its blood wet my face.

Then, before the body had even fell, Cal had disappeared again, another one of his gates swallowing him up, right before he disappeared I heard a wild yell of delight. It froze me for just a second, because it wasn’t Cal’s somber and sarcastic tones, it was the wild gravelly, and ominous tones of an Auphe hunting and I knew then it wasn’t only Cal’s body that was being taken somewhere else . His mind was traveling farther away with each gate, I had noticed during the road trip after his gate he had been euphoric which for Cal who spent most of his like life brooding was a full-time job that was saying something. But it wasn’t the euphoria that had me worried, my brother could do with a mood booster, what had me worried was the other effects of his gating.

He wasn’t himself after he gated, he was edgy tense, reckless , and definitely less caring than he should have been about certain stuff, like killing for example. And that had me worried because every gate he took was closer to his half-Auphe side and farther from human.

I had little time to consider anything else as an Ördög rushed forward intent on ripping out my throat and I swept my katana in a clean arc dividing the body in two. Creature after creature came and I moved forward killing them all. There wasn’t time to observe the others I knew they could hold their own. But I was aware each and every time Cal gated and he didn’t stop not even when there were only a few stragglers to deal with. He was maniacal, going after each and every one, each time gating faster and faster. Each kill, more violent and I feared pleasurable than the last.

I turned towards him, my sword finally stilling as the last creature fell. My mouth had opened, I don’t know what I was going to say. But the words died on my lips because he moved through his last gate and rematerialized a few feet away, and his eyes didn’t meet mine instead his eyes were searching looking for prey. His face was twisted in a crazed mania and flecked with blood. And that was when I knew that he had broken his promise, it had never really been his to make, but I had let him make his own choices and this was where we were. No more gates, had turned into a few gates, then the last five minutes of insane frenzy and Cal, the Cal I knew had been swept away in the tide of reality ripping madness.

He wasn’t Cal anymore, not in his mind, instead the Auphe though dead had still taken him from me. Time seemed to freeze and Cal head turned locking on something his entire body quivering with energy. I turned following his gaze and saw a mule deer, frozen at the edge of the clearing. It stared out clearly terrified, then as all creatures who aren’t predators do, it bounded away from the lingering smell of blood an death. The fury of battle still lingering in the bodies of the wolves and my own brother was ignited.

I yelled, “Cal” but he had already gated. I raced after him ignoring Goodfellow’s muttering and Rafferty who had changed back to human form and was following running after his cousin. Robin may have been a Puck, Rafferty may have been a werewolf, but I was a human who wasn’t letting my brother get away from me again—that gave me more speed than them both.

I could see Cal just ahead of me as he gated repeatedly following the path of the deer. Two wolves surged ahead of me also tracking the deer, to them this was a hunt, something they were born to do. Afterwards , Delilah would return to their human form, she was werewolf, able to turn off her predatory instinct somewhat.  And Catcher- well he was a werewolf stuck in wolf form that entitled him to some hunting as far as I was concerned. My brother wasn’t like them and he hadn’t understood that. He didn’t understand that while he may have been half monster—he could chose to be all human. In fact his only option was to try to be all human or become all Auphe and if the last choice became the only one then there was only one path left for both of us.

I wouldn’t allow another killer to set out to destroy the world, I couldn’t do so. But I wouldn’t live in that world I had saved if I was forced to put down my own brother in the process. His dying breath would be my last also.

Sometimes life was just f—ked up that way…killing your half-monster brother and then following him sometimes that was the only option. But I wasn’t going to allow it to end that way today—I couldn’t allow it, I wasn’t ready to let him...I didn’t want to think that I might never be.

With a surge of speed I raced ahead and out into a clearing, just in time to see Cal reach the deer. He overtook it, pulling it down and ripping into the flesh with his teeth, the animal gave a scream as he ripped out the throat. I could see him clearly from where I stood and the sight was so wrong. I ignored the two wolves joining in the kill and focused on my brother. Cal’s dark hair hung in his face, his hands were smattered in blood, the t-shirt he wore was covered in gore, and his hands—human hands were bringing chunks of the dripping meat and organs to his mouth.

I moved closer and he raised his head. He half –turned, his hair obscuring his eyes. The growl that emanated from his throat wasn’t even vaguely recognizable as human; it would have terrified almost anybody. The bloodlust, desire to kill and primal anger was infused throughout the noise, but I wasn’t scared because he was my brother. I had to die one day and if that day was today and by his hand then so be it. I put my hand on my katana and moved forward, he might kill me but in this we were going down together. He would have wanted that, Cal would accept it and if he was in his right mind he would forgive me, but I would never forgive myself if I was forced to kill him to save him.

He raised himself from the kill again, blood ripping from his mouth and snarled again . A warning, telling me to stay away, then turned back towards the deer. I was nearly at his back when he whipped around again, turning so fast , it wouldn’t have been possible normally. He lunged towards me, tackling me, his breath hot on my face. He leaned closer, sniffing me and he seemed to pause for just the hint of a second, like he recognized me in some crazed part of his mind. Then before the thought could even be complete he was lunging forward again, this time aiming for my throat and I knew he would rip it out without even caring or knowing that he was killing his own brother. In that moment he was Auphe—a predator—and I was human—his prey.

“Cal.” I don’t know why I said it; perhaps I thought it might bring him back, because every time that was what had brought him back. From the brink of Auphe induced sanity after he had spent two years in tumulus, to the time Darkling had possessed him, I had been the person to bring him back. I had reminded him of himself.

He froze hesitating again and this time it was enough, I flipped him over. And surprisingly he was still as I straddled him, uncertainly I called his name again and the sound he made in response could have been my name “Nik” or another muffled growl. I desperately knew which one I wanted it to be. Cal twisted his head and the dark curtain fell away from his eyes …for the first time I saw them.

I saw what my brother had become.

The gray that was so like my own had been replaced by a molten red. Red like the Auphe’s own murderous gaze.

Cal writhed under me trying to get me off and he scrabbled at my hands clawing the skin. I knew I only had seconds barely to hold him before he would be out my grip. I said his name again, It was a plea, “Cal.” _Please don’t make me do this._

But Cal was gone, replaced with something I knew he never wanted to be. I pulled one of the numerous knives I kept out of my pocket, and raised it. It was harder holding him with one hand. He was slowly getting free; I had to do it now. The point wavered and the knife flashed down and at the last second turned the butt going to his temple , his eyes were dazed before they closed as my fist finished the job.

I stared at the blood-smeared face now too pale and silent. I couldn’t do it, in the end I couldn’t. I had stabbed him once before intending to kill him and the monster that he had turned into but instead of letting him die I had allowed him to be saved, even knowing that at that time Cal was no longer there. And knowing when he should have been ended, I had known it would have been best for everyone involved I had saved him—because it wouldn’t have been best for me.

I had watched over him since his birth, I had changed his diapers, taught him, saved him, loved him, but I couldn’t kill him. That was the one thing I didn’t think I could do for him. Cal might one day be the thing that ended the world, but all I could say was let it end. He could bring the whole f—king world to an end. And I’d let it end an we’d be standing in the ashes.

Because in the end I couldn’t go through with it. One day we would both go, together that was the only way, but I wasn’t going to be the one to start the journey for my brother. I couldn’t do it today…I didn’t know if I ever would.

I would rather a billion deaths on my head than one because I couldn’t kill what was a part of me, I couldn’t kill my Cal—I couldn’t kill what I lived and breathed for.

I didn’t know what would wake up, man or monster, Auphe or human but whatever the consequences I would deal with them. There was a selfishness on my part that even Cal didn’t realize, I was willing to sacrifice it all: his sanity, the people he would potentially murder, the world he could destroy to keep him…to keep my brother

…even if he wasn’t even part human anymore

…even if he was a monster.

**Author's Note:**

> So how did you like it? This is a small fandom if you don't comment who will? Thanks for reading. ;)


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